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- In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men -

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Shouldn’t You Know That ?

 

One unintended consequence of becoming a doctor is now apparent–everyone assumes you should know everything there is to know about the human body, from head to toe. Hell, the last Iattended a biochemistry class was more than a decade ago and I had to defend my right not to know an answer to a question from my badminton mate:

Mate: Why are you supposed to work out in the morning?
Me (bullshitting): Hmm. Maybe because your glycogen levels are high in the early morning, so your body will be forced to use its fat reserves first?
Mate: Really? Because I would think that…
Me: Okay, okay, I have no idea.
Mate: Shouldn’t you know that? Aren’t you a doctor?
Me: I don’t know! I’m not a dietician!

But I’m guilty of it, too. I’ve said the exact same thing to my dad (an Orthopaedician) on numerous occasions.

Me (pubescent teenager): Dad, why does it hurt when I go like this?
Dad: I don’t know. Don’t go like that.
Me (scathing, bratty, “God, my parents are so dumb”): Shouldn’t you know that? Aren’t you a doctor?

So now the tables are turned. But the thing is, I kinda feel like, “Yeah, I should know that,” although I don’t understand many things well enough yet to integrate all my knowledge. I mean, yeah, I guess I’m supposed to know everything, but… everything? That’s… kind of a lot isn’t it …..?? 

Sunday, January 9, 2011

A night that day

The ultrasonic black and white images of the living foetus flashed in front of Ali’s eyes on his laptop screen. Nothing made sense to him but Ali had been here once before and he knew in a few days these images would be transformed to life. Inspite of this, being his second time coming he was tense and restless…
Ali is a NRI based in  Dubai and works for one of the leading banks  in the region. Global economic recession had hit the bank very hard and he knew taking leave to be with his wife would put his job at great risk. Ali really wanted to be with his wife and daughter at that special moment. The risk was taken and as all Gulf malayalees say- ‘hop skip n jump and you reach your backyard !! ‘, Ali reached his hometown, a place where he thought the MTV culture and the gizmos of the modern world had not yet polluted the system. Ali was soon to be mistaken.
Ali was brought up in a traditional joint family with conservative Muslim ideologies. Although his  wife Shehana had fuelled doubts about this ‘joint family’ system , the birth of their daughter Tasneem 2 years ago laid all fears to rest. Now Ali was part of a big happy family all waiting for the new arrival.
Sept 7th was given as the due date by some sort of ‘magical’ calculation which had worked for the family the last time around. Promptly 2 days before that day Ali and his ‘big happy ‘ family found themselves waiting for Dr Shiny Jacob outside her OP room. A quick examination following which a smiling Dr Shiny instructed Shehana to get admitted and once she gets the labour pains she would be taken to the Labour Room. As the previous delivery was nomal she informed them that the chances are high for the same this time around too.
The very next day immediately after breakfast Shehana developed labour pains and she was shifted to the Labour Room. Ali and his family walked beside the stretcher giving comforting words to the mother. As they reached the Labour Room Ali lifted Tasneem and the child lunged forward towards her mother and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Ali held her back. The double doors of the Labour Room opened and Tasneem’s mother was rolled into the dakness of the Labour Room
Sitting on the cold metallic benches outside the Labour Room Ali thought the wait would never end. Ali looked at Tasneem who was holding on to her teddy bear. The child asked her Father “ Papa were you more tensed than now when I was inside Mummy’s tummy? “. Ali smiled at her and was thankfully saved of the embaressment of having to answer the question when the double doors flew open and a Nurse came out holding the new born baby!!
The family rejoiced at the birth of a baby girl. Dr Shiny confirmed that Shehana had a full term normal delivery. Tasneem now had a little 'vava' (children are fondly referred as vava in Malayalam) to play with her, and her teddy bear. Both Mother and baby was later shifted to Room No 212 where they were advised 2 days rest before they could get discharged.  The next 2 days were filled with well wishers .. both near n dear ones who came to see the mother and child. For Ali this was uncomfortable as he knew Shehana too would not be pleased to keep smiling at the never ending crowd. The same answers to the same questions. Ali even thought of giving a Press Release ….and handing it out to their relatives !!  So, Dr Shiny telling them on the 2nd post delivery day that they could go home later that evening  , was of great relief to the couple.
 Tasneem though was liking the crowd. Her Uncles and Aunties took turns in playing with her. They even took her many a times around the hospital. Tasneem loved going to the hospital canteen and sitting on the metallic chairs with her teddybear beside her. Buboo the teddybear was Tasneem’s companion. Wherever Tasneem went Buboo would be taken along.
Ali after clearing the hospital bills came to the room to find Shehana still talking to his parents and his in- laws. Ali raised his voice marginally and told them to get the mother ready and finish packing all their stuff.  The ‘experienced’ mothers held on to the ‘new’ mother and walked her down the stairs . Shehana’s sister was holding the baby. Tasneem walked down the stairs and when she was passing the canteen she suddenly remembered Buboo wasn’t with her. She looked around to see if any of her grand parents were holding Buboo. She wriggled her small fingers slowly out of her Aunty’s  grip and stood still. If only her Aunty had realized what the little girl was going to do….
 Two cars were waiting for the family… parked in the car porch of the hospital. The doors were opened and the family with all the mothers got in . Ali’s phone rang. It was his childhood friend and the now local MLA of that constituency  Mr Abdul Majid.  Although Ali’s NRI status had drifted them apart now the birth of his daughter , was a reason for the school mates to come together  that evening to celebrate. The engines were started and the cars sped of leaving Tasneem and Buboo behind in the hospital ..!!!
The girl had found her missing teddybear sitting on a canteen chair. The change over of the staff was 5 mins before. Tasneem could not recognize any faces there. She slowly got out the canteen and started going up to Room 212. Night shift had just started and the staff were busy with the hand-over of duties. No one noticed the small girl walking alone through the hospital corridors..
Tasneem reached 212. She was familiar with the hospital by now. She opened the door, expecting her mother and the rest of the family. But she found different people in her mother’s room.  She was a little surprised but thought they could stay in the room  till her mother comes back. All the eyes in the room were on Tasneem now. The pregnant lady who had just got admitted had the same big belly as her own mother. 
She went close to her and said, “ My mom also had the same belly like yours. Don’t worry, the doctor aunty will come and get the vava  out of your belly and give it to you.” All of them laughed good heartedly, instantly liking the little kid’s innocence.
Then Tasneem said, “ You can stay here till my mother comes. I’ll go and get her.” People in the room did not give so much importance to the fact that a little girl was alone in the hospital, unattended. They just believed her mother and family were in the next room.
Tasneem left the room and started wandering around the hospital, looking for her mother…
A big white SUV was parked outside Ali’s house. The childhood friends embraced each other. The warmness of the reception was interrupted by Shehana’s scream. The family had just discovered Tasneem was missing.
Back in the hospital Tasneem had got herself seated in the metallic chairs outside the Labour Room. Bubbo was sitting on her lap. The little one was waiting for her mother while a family next to her was expecting their ‘new’ little one. Soon the double doors opened and Tasneem saw the Nurse coming out holding a ‘vava’. The family rushed towards the double doors and surrounded the Nurse and the ‘vava’. Tasneem wriggled through their legs and reached the Nurse.She looked up and instantly realized it wasn’t her ‘vava’. Disappointed, yet not ready to give in she slowly slid in between the double doors and the Nurse and Tasneem had now entered the Labour Room .
The Telephone Operator at the Hospital was quickly loosing her patience trying to explain to the parents that she had no idea about the missing child. Angered by this lukewarm response Abdul Majid told the parents to get into the car and quickly reach the hospital. The politician got into his SUV and told his driver to follow Ali’s car. Abdul Majid was a shrewd politician and he knew how to play his cards well. He had over a short duration quickly climbed up the power  ladder of the Communist Party with cleverly planned tactical moves. The Comrade scrolled down the contact list of his mobile phone and dialed Dr Basheer  who was the owner of the Hospital. What started as an exchange of pleasantries soon got a bit rough when Abdul Majid reminded the Doctor of the donation to the Party Fund which the Doctor had blantantly refused many a times before. Abdul Majid’s tone changed and he warned the Doctor of the consequences of not paying up and also informed the Doctor of the ‘missing child’ episode at his hospital. The Doctor hung up on the Politician. The shrewd politician followed this up with several anonymous calls to the local newspaper and TV stations – the message loud yet simple- ‘ A child goes missing at a local hospital and preliminary doubt being the 3 year old girl might have fallen into some uncovered drainage hole in the hospital premises. Search is still goin on … !!!!! ’
Tasneem peeped into the Labour suite. She saw a lady lying on a table with her legs spread out in front of her and various ladies wearing green caps and masks busy doing something which the little girl didn’t understand. She walked down the passage and entered the next room which was bigger but empty. She went in and sat down leaning against a table and soon dozed of. Little did the girl realize this is where operations are conducted – The Operation Theatre.
The crowd outside the hospital was growing. The search continued. The mother was wailing in front of the camera crew of a local TV station. The Administrative Officer had given a statement to the effect that the Hospital authorities were doing all to search for the child. The crowd was getting restless.  The local police force made their presence felt in the hospital. Sections of the crowd were getting verbal with the police force as they tried to get into the Hospital. It was just a matter of time before the legal machinery would break down. The sound of the window panes breaking with someone throwing a stone was the signal for the mob to barge into the hospital. The crowd was running amok. They stormed into the patients room shouting abuses, throwing the patients belongings , pushing the relatives and in some cases causing harm to the patients itself. The hospital furniture in the lobby was completely disfigured. Complete chaos prevailed…. Patients started running out of their rooms in fear, the hospital staff fled, the Doctors ran for their safety.  The legal machinery had failed miserably and the hospital was being taken down minute by minute…. !!! Pictures of this assault were being aired on a few local cable channels.
In the middle of all this everyone forgot about Tasneem. Most of them never even knew whom they were looking for let alone did they know how the girl looked like…yet they continued to bring down the hospital.
Tasneem woke up from her sleep and she realised Buboo wasn’t with her. She got up made her way out of the OT, walked down the passage to the double doors and came out of the Labour Room. Bubbo was lying on the floor next to the metallic chairs. Tasneem picked up Buboo went towards the stairs and climbed down. There was commotion all over the place. In all this turmoil the little kid was unperturbed and she ran towards Room No 212. Shehana her mother was standing there outside the room. People were running all over the place .The mother ran towards the child and hugged her. She picked her up and with Tasneem holding onto Bubbo they all fled down. Ali saw them coming and ran towards them and shouted at them to run towards their car. They started the car when Ali’s phone rang .Abdul Majid had called to enquire if Tasneem was fine and also told Ali to leave for home while he would take care of the mess here. A relieved family drove home.
Abdul Majid went to his dialed list and dialed Dr Basheer. He spoke with a heavy tone.
“ I now need triple the amount I had asked you earlier and don’t worry about the news being leaked to the media. I will make sure no media network will bring out this news tomorrow. You just make sure the money reaches me before midnight.”
The Doctor’s feeble voice replied” Abdul Majid  Sir, please message me your account number………”


A story from the land with the maximum number of per capita hospital mob attacks in the world   !!!!