The Renewal

The Holy season of Lent was about to start. Giving up on meat and alcohol was the routine for me like most of my fellow brothers (although some of my loving brothers do insist that alcohol is a pure vegetarian drink).This year I wanted to give in more. So coming to Mangalore after leaving the secure and comfortable ambience of my private practice in Kodungallur was never an easy decision. I had driven down and by early evening I was eating masala dosa ‘s fried in pure love made by my beautiful wife. The customary practice to take a shower after a long journey had started to give me disturbing vibrations. I took the towel and entered the area to take a shower. I was feeling like a fish out of the water. For 31 years of my life I had taken a shower with hot water. Growing up in the Gulf made me an addict of this habit and I didn’t bother coming out of it even after I left the desert . I stood staring in front of the shower . I always had nightmares thinking of this dreaded moment and now I was living it. I turned on the shower and stood away from it as a fish would on seeing the fisherman’s baited hook. The cold water droplets splashing on my feet had started to make me sweat. The feeling of the coldness was travelling up my legs. Vague thoughts were racing in my mind. My pulse started galloping. Voices in my head were trying to push me away. I thought of my gold fish which I had in Kodungallur and how it must have felt when I released it into a nearby river when I was leaving for Mangalore. I closed my eyes and prayed.

Lord let me forget my past and make me start afresh….

I took a step forward and felt the cold water on my skin. The water submerged my body and i felt as if I was being caressed . I could feel an electric shock somewhere deep within my body. My muscles were relaxed and my body started swaying with the rhythm of the droplets. I was on a new high experiencing something new , something refreshing, something I was scared to experience all my life and above all something I was enjoying. I could feel the happiness of the fishes as thy swam in the cool waters and realised why they never wanted to experience the life on Earth.i realized how happy my goldfish would have been (contrary to my belief) when I released it’s chains of bondage. I saw a new light. Stepping out of the shower I was longing to relive that experience.

I do not know how long I will be able to cherish this and live with these thoughts but till whenever I can, I know I will be like the fish in the water..... Completely at peace and not trying to reach out for  the luxuries of Life on Earth.

I could hear my wife shouting that she has got the hot water ready for my bath.
My season of Lent had just started.

Love, compassion and faith

Somewhere along the Konkan coast on a fine Sunday morning in a local church the congregation was celebrating the Holy Eucharist with great fervor and enthusiasm. The Church was bustling with activity just as in the bar along the road. Three drunkard friends were sitting on the countertop and having their round of breakfast drinks. Corruption in the government was their matter of concern as they criticized the sorry state of affairs. The church bell rang and soon the congregation started to disperse.  An old man walked up the church stairs and began asking for alms from the dispersing crowd. The crowd was giving peace offerings to their relatives and friends and had not observed the old man collapsing to the ground.  He was a heart patient and had just suffered a heart attack.. The people all around him were busy getting into their big cars and switching on their air conditioners to escape the heat. They had turned a blind eye to the needy. The drunkard friends had reached the church to give their Sunday offerings. They saw the old man lying deserted in the church campus gasping for breath. They ran, picked him up and took him to the local hospital. He survived the heart attack and gave thanks to the Lord.

I wonder who were the true ‘Catholics’ ?